Political Jokes, Cartoons, Etc. Funny Or NOT!

[Ken0069]

Democratic Convention Schedule
Monday, July 25, 2016

11:15 AM
Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention
Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.

1:30 PM
Group Voter Registration for Illegal Immigrants.

3:15 PM
Address on "Being the Real You"
Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP and
Caitlyn Jenner

4:30 PM
"How to Bank $200 Million as a
Public Servant and claim to be broke"
Hillary Clinton

4:45 PM
How to have a successful career
Without ever having a job, and
Still avoid paying taxes!
A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson

5:00 PM
Medals of Freedom presentation to
Army deserter Bo Bergdahl
For serving with Honor and Distinction
National Security Advisor Susan Rice

5:30 PM
Invitation-only Autograph Session
Souvenir photographs of Hillary and
Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia

6:30 PM
General vote on praising Baltimore rioters,
And on using the terminology
"Alternative Shoppers" instead of “Looters"

7:30 PM
Breakout session with Bill Clinton
For women on avoiding the upcoming draft

8:30 PM
The White House "Semantics Committee" Meeting
General vote on re-branding "Muslim Terrorism" as
"Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance"

9:00 PM
"Liberal Bias in Media“ How we can make it work for you!
Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, PBS,
The Washington Post and the New York Times
With Guest Speaker, Brian Williams

9:15 PM
Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters
Still incarcerated at GITMO
Michael Moore

9:45 PM
Personal Finance Seminar -
"Businesses Don't Create Jobs"
Special guest Pocahontas
aka Elizabeth Warren

11:00 PM
Short film, "Setting Up Your Own Illegal
Email Server While Serving in A
Cabinet Post and How to Pretend
It's No Big Deal"
Hosted by Hillary Clinton

11:30 PM
Official Nomination of Hillary
Bill Maher and Chris Matthews

SOMEBODY SPENT A LOT OF PREMIUM TIME PUTTING THIS AGENDA TOGETHER.
DON'T LET IT GO TO WASTE.

[RevTheory]

And don't forget the $3,500/week job opportunity to walk around in circles holding anti-Trump signs and jumping up and down on cop cars. See, it turns out that democrats actually do create jobs, lol

Whoever came up with that was pretty witty though. Thanks for sharing

[BCjohnny]

Source

[woody b]

[Ken0069]

From 1968 to 1972 the "hippie" Bernie Sanders probably did so much acid and other drugs that he is lucky to even remember his name now, much less what the temperature was at that time! I believe it's called "burnt out"!

[Ken0069]

[woody b]

[Ken0069]

"Shit For Brains", wow, someone else knows president shit stain, hey, or, is it "Full Of Shit"? Either way it works for me!!

[Ken0069]

The "Oh SHIT!" moment has arrived!

[Ken0069]

[Ken0069]

FIVE Simple Truths

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk.

Bonus Truth:

Condoms don't guarantee safe s e x. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

[Ken0069]

Need to send a bunch of these to those impotent RINOs in Congress!! Do you think they make anything like this to give them a SPINE to go with the "NADS"?

[BCjohnny]

Five more:

"If you want something doing, find a busy man ......"

"Where there's a will, there's a relative ......"

"Few things in life haven't got a funny side, unless it's happening to you ......"

"If you think qualified people are expensive, wait and see what an amateur might cost you ......"

"The jawbone of an ass is today as dangerous a weapon as in Samson's day ......"

And the bonus:

"Another victory such as this, and all will be lost ......"


With poetic license, as remembered and without citations (the last two are after Nixon and Pyrrhus ......)

[Ken0069]

[Ken0069]