Idle Thoughts of a Retired Person

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Ken0069
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Idle Thoughts of a Retired Person

Post by Ken0069 » Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:53 pm

I didn't think these up. Someone sent them to me and I thought I'd share them with the old farts on ST!
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves."
William Pitt, British Prime-Minister (1759-1806)


Big Boyz Toyz!

Global Warming Is a FRAUD!

RevTheory
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Re: Idle Thoughts of a Retired Person

Post by RevTheory » Fri Jun 29, 2018 10:09 am

Nice! :lol:

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Re: Idle Thoughts of a Retired Person

Post by In-Tech » Fri Jun 29, 2018 10:41 am

wut?






:mrgreen:
Heat is energy, energy is horsepower...but you gotta control the heat.
-Carl

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Ken0069
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Re: Idle Thoughts of a Retired Person

Post by Ken0069 » Wed Jul 25, 2018 7:41 pm

Here's another old folks joke!


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"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves."
William Pitt, British Prime-Minister (1759-1806)


Big Boyz Toyz!

Global Warming Is a FRAUD!

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Ken0069
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Re: Idle Thoughts of a Retired Person

Post by Ken0069 » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:29 am

older.jpg
"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves."
William Pitt, British Prime-Minister (1759-1806)


Big Boyz Toyz!

Global Warming Is a FRAUD!

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Re: Idle Thoughts of a Retired Person

Post by Frankshaft » Wed Oct 03, 2018 1:16 pm

I bought some powdered water the other day. I don't know what to add?

I named my dog Stay. Everytime I call him, I say ," come here Stay. " Dog just stands there, he doesn't listen well.

No matter what temperature the room is, that's room temperature.

Couple more.

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