Customers - gotta love 'em.

[PackardV8]

My machinist built a mud truck BBC long block for a local guy who paid for good parts in it and sent it home with him last fall. It took our hero all winter to finish it, outside but supposedly under cover for a while before completing it and installing it. On startup, it kept blowing off the oil filter. We gave him another oil pump and oil filter adapter; same result; cold start blew off the filter. Bring it all back, we said.

Since the original oil pump was on the bench, we started there; first clue, it was rusty on the outside. Upon disassembly, the pressure relief valve was stuck solid; required a tap to remove it. There were rust stains on the valve body.

Removing the pan, there rust on the windage tray; lotsa water had been in there. Our guess is during the build, the distributor wasn't in place and water was getting in there.

Since the second pump was only exposed for a short while, we couldn't believe it could be the same problem; it wasn't rusty outside, but inside, the same thing; pressure relief valve was stuck tight. It must have set outside, maybe in the truck cab, for a week in this cold, wet spring before he installed it.

Guys, your warranty doesn't cover new engine parts left outside under a tarp over six moths of a cold, wet, winter and spring.

[travis]

I got to fix a similar deal several years ago. A friend of mine bought a ‘78 Dodge Warlock (precursor to the little red express) for cheap. Previous owner had built a 318 for it that lasted about 50 miles, then locked up tight. My friend come dragging it to the shop on a trailer...we did some preliminary troubleshooting and then tore into it. I pulled a big coffee can full of leaves, sticks, pecans, etc out of it. Oil pump was plugged solid with trash...everything inside was burnt black and blue.

I also got to see what happens to blue silicone when used as an exhaust manifold gasket lol

[427dart]

You would think some personal value would be applied to the parts and work the customer spent his money on. Like store long block well bagged and oiled down in a shed or covered porch or even a buddy's garage!

[Newold1]

Can't fix stupid !

[ProPower engines]

Can't fix stupid !

No but you can repeatedly invoice it I just love guys that just don't have the brains enough to seal a new engine they spent good money on then wonder why water screwed up the bores or rusted them solid so it will burn out the starter trying.

[PackardV8]

You do a lot of boat engines, so know some of their owners are seriously retarded. Every spring we get a lot of cores from boat yards that were left to freeze over the winter; clean, low hours, just need a new block. At present, my machinist is prepping a new block for a frozen 460" BBF.

[englertracing]

He was ”seasoning" it

[dwilliams]

Had a customer complain about oil pressure problems with a new motor. I pulled the pan and found half an inch of waxy sludge inside, along with plastic oil bottle caps, a few metal beer bottle caps, some cut-off zip tie ends, and a bunch of plastic of unknown origin blocking the oil screen.

Had another, "engine blowing oil everywhere." No end seals on the intake manifold. They came in the package for a reason...

The dirt track motor, way down on power. The huge "silicone sealer worms" partially blocking the intake ports weren't helping airflow any.

A big stroker engine that made a "horrible knocking noise." Then started drooling oil. He didn't see any point in paying to have the oil pan modified for clearance; it bolted on, didn't it?

Then the guy who pulled the rocker arms off and replaced them with cheap cast aluminum rockers that fouled the spring retainers and pushrods, and then broke. He changed the rockers because he liked the color better. No, I'm not going to replace all the damaged parts no matter how many rants he posts on "social media."

The guy who ran a new engine until it seized. Multiple times, apparently. Besides the usual destruction, the cam gear and front of the block were destroyed, various valves had siezed, and the rocker arms and shafts were badly galled. No, it didn't come with oil already in it, and I didn't care about his "social media" either...

I guess I'm not a "people person"...

[tjz450]

Machine shops gotta love em, Dropped off some heads at the best shop in town, back when I was 19. They cut the valves, but only the seats in one head, reassembled gave them back to me cause I'm a dumbass kid. I had power mechanics in high school and knew enough to pour solvent in the ports. Got my money back on the labor............... Another time, took crank assembly in to a shop for a balance, the TRWforged pistons had only two that were ground on to match them. Took them to a different shop to have them weighed and they were all over the place and they matched them for me. Then a different time, I brought a block and a set of new Keith Black's hypertec pistons to shop that subs out boring and honing. Told him these hypotecs fit tight, like .002", he said it's ok, they know what to bore it to. After 6 weeks waiting, I get my block back. My new pistons have at least.005 clearance if not more. Motor rattled every time I started in on a cool day, summer no problem. There's more but I'm on my phone. I don't bellyache on social media, I just keep looking for the right guy.

[MadBill]

A friend of mine specializes in big Hemis. He shipped an aluminum 572" to a couple of guys in Sweden. They got it in the car and fired it up, drove it around. Tons of power but it was noisy and then it seized, likely because they forgot to add oil or coolant.
"They wasted their money shipping it back." my pal said. "The only parts I could reuse were a handful of bolt-on bits..."

[bentvalves]

Built a nice turbo 4 cylinder for a friend. Got it started on megasquirt late one friday night and ran it for 10 or so minutes at 1800-2300rpm. Had to run so told him to let it cool completely, change the oil and call me the following day. The moment I left he fired it back up and crashed it into the 8200rpm fuel cut rev limiter in neutral Brand spankin' fresh new motor!

Floated 7 of the 8 exhaust valves into the pistons and busted the ring lands up real nice. None of the valves were bent or tweaked even the slightest bit. 3 pistons were not happy however...

[Walter R. Malik]

I built a small block Chevy for a guy to put in his vintage Corvette. He insisted having a high volume, high pressure oil pump.
I told him to use 10W-40 synthetic oil after break-in. He put 20W-50 mineral oil in it just before that winter storage.

One day when it was down to almost 0 degrees outside he started it to get some warmth in it and walked in the house to let it warm-up.
The engine seized from no oil because the tip of the oil pump drive rod sheared off. Probably because of the combination of the thick oil, high volume, high pressure pump and extreme cold starting.

After a few days in court ... I was required to eat that engine and build him another one.

NOW ... I am very particular about which customers I will do work for.
I am called a "son-of-bitch" by a lot of them, (everywhere they can post it or tell anyone), simply because I told them to go away; I won't do your work.